


Her Titan

by LittlestMedic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:23:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlestMedic/pseuds/LittlestMedic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn't really gone. He was there when she needed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Titan

She hadn’t thought it would end like this. Not like this- so close, and yet so far. Hanji had practically tasted victory, practically seen the end to all of their struggles. Throughout it all, from the moment they’d met Eren, to the moment they’d discovered that the Titans were humans, that they’d been killing humans, and to the moment where some of the most important people had been taken from her. She could count them- Erwin had gone, sacrificing himself to the Titans. Moblit had gone for her, saving her life once again.  
And it was in vain. Not for humanity, oh no, every sacrifice counted when it was for humanity. But his sacrifice to her, that was in vain.

Because she was now lying on the ground, bleeding to death, too weak to move or do anything but lie there and wait for death to come.  
And it would come. It would come in time- it always did. It came for the old woman watching the world, and it came for the young man riding to his destiny on the top of a horse, with the Wings of Freedom on his back. It came for everyone, and it had been a folly of hers to think it wouldn’t come for her, because now it had and she was unprepared.  
She didn’t want to die.

They knew that humans were Titans and her mind, the mind of the scientist, even near death, sought to wonder how this happened. Was it when they were eaten? What about those who were partly eaten, like her, dying alone on the ground with less than your usual amount of limbs and feeling your heart blindly pump the rest of your life out? Did they become Titans? Did they have a chance at avoiding death?

Moblit had been eaten, she recalled. Pushing her out of the way, and she’d turned as she watched jaws clamp around the space where he had been, clasp him and draw back. She’d run, she should have helped him, but she’d simply stared as she’d made eye contact with Moblit, oh good god, loyal as shit Moblit, the man who put up with everything, as he yelled one final message to her before the Titan threw back its head and swallowed him.  
She wished the message had been something different. She didn’t want to think that the last thing Moblit had thought had been his love for her, not that it had ever meant anything. She hadn’t even fucking noticed, and she felt so terrible for it. So undeniably terrible- she’d been forced to make horrible decisions in her time. Forced to choose who would live and who would die, and you got used to the guilt. But this was something wholly worse. 

The ground was shaking beneath her. Ah, of course. Speak of the devil, to quote an old, older than the Walls, phrase. She didn’t know what it meant, although perhaps the devil was the Titan baring down on her.  
She closed her eyes. Did she want to see this? Did she want to know?

The ground stopped shaking. There was a whoosh of air- perhaps the Titan was leaning down to look at her, appraise her. Examine her and the rest of the bodies strewn around her. The others were dead. She was the last one, the living prey.  
By the size of the footfalls and the time between them, she estimated this one was about 12metres tall, or perhaps an Abnormal. To think, she’d once been so excited to see an Abnormal. You know, before she’d seen Moblit disappear between the jaws of one.  
She hadn’t sought revenge on that Titan. It had ignored her and moved on, an odd behaviour- maybe it hadn’t seen her, maybe it was simply satisfied that it had eaten Moblit. She didn’t know. She hadn’t cared. Her mind was far too scrambled to think properly.

She opened her eyes, and moved her weary sight to look at the Titan. They knew now that Titans looked like the humans they used to be- that Springer kid, his mother… That had been awful, and the drop of realisation she had felt. The look on Levi’s face when he worked it out. That had been one of the worst parts- someone so strong look suddenly so haunted.

It took a little while, before she noticed it. It was in the shape of the face, the colour of the eyes, and the fact it simply looked at her. She squinted, before weakly smiling.  
The Titan was crouched, watching her- another came running up, a 3metre this class, and the Titan- Hanji’s Titan- hit it in the face reflexively and threw it away. Then it went back to staring at her.

After a while, it moved a hand to reach out for her. One finger brushed along the top of her head and she met its gaze. It opened its mouth, grunting, making garbled noises. She tilted her head painfully, eyes narrowing, willing it to keep trying.  
“Say what you’re trying to say.” She coughed, after a while, wondering if it could understand her. “Just take your time.”

It carried on trying, its finger stroking the top of her head slightly, and Hanji listened attentively, or as attentively as one can when they’re dying, as it slowly spelled out words.  
“Sq-uuaddd…Leaderrrrr.” 

Hanji gave a wistful sigh, raising one arm weakly to place her hand on the enormous finger.  
“Hello, Moblit.” She managed. “Sorry you had to see me like this.”  
It was looking her over, it’s head tilted slightly.

“You’re… Bean.” It mumbled, by way of confirmation, settling down in front of her, legs askew. She laughed slightly at this, her chest hurting as she did so. Evidently they retained their memories when they became Titans, she speculated. What about their intelligence? Was Moblit still in there, her smart and permanently worried assistant?  
She struggled with her belts, trying to get them off so she could breathe and it moved its finger to her chest, frowning and shaking its head.  
“No.”

Hanji looked up, biting her lip slightly. It- no, he\- was trying to stop her from taking her Gear off, because everyone knew that without a Gear, you were defenceless and simply Titan food. Tears pricked her eyes.  
“I have to, Moblit. It hurts.” She replied, patting his finger and moving it away. Her Gear clattered to the ground, freed from its restraint and she went back to meeting the Titans gaze. It appeared to be thinking, frowning, and looking at her intently.

“No.” It repeated, picking up her Gear and trying to fix it back onto her. She gave a gasp of pain as it pressed too hard and it backed away, mumbling. “Beee carefullllll…”  
Hanji closed her eyes, the pain too much now, both inside and outside. It hurt to think that he was there and he was watching her and he was expecting her to get up. Another Titan approached- she watched as he flicked it away with one wrist, the other Titan struggling to get back before her Titan, her Moblit punched it away again almost absentmindedly and it didn’t get back up.

She didn’t have long. That much she could tell. Moblit shuffled closer to her, stroking her hair with one finger again. She closed her eyes.  
The world was a heap of shit, to quote something she’d heard Lance Corporal Levi once say. But here, she reasoned, there was something that wasn’t shit, something that defied Levi logic.  
And that made her happy, as she took one final breath and abandoned the world with one final sigh.

Later on, Scouting Legion soldiers would report seeing a Titan that looked like Squad Leader Hanji’s personal assistant.  
And they would report about the body it brought back to them, the limp body of the Squad Leader herself, laid on the ground in front of them, before it was felled and quietly steamed, dissolving into smoke that drifted into the great, wide sky.


End file.
